You were supposed to love me
by Roma Blackadder
Summary: Faberry. Rachel is about to leave for New York with Kurt but wants to see Quinn one last time.
1. Chapter 1

**You were supposed to love me**

"I have an announcement" chirped Rachel Berry in front of her fellow glee clubbers; "Kurt and I successfully got into NYADA!" she beamed at her best friend who was looking fashion fabulous as always. He did the regal wave he was so accustomed to while smiling back at Rachel. Kurt had thought he didn't have a hope in hell in getting in to NYADA but he must have done something right because he was going to New York, with Rachel, to do what he loved. Everyone was instantly on their feet hugging, clapping and cheering the fact that their friends had gotten everything they wanted. But one person got lost in the crowd of congratulations; Quinn.

It had been months since their one night of passion and a lot had changed but Quinn's feelings for Rachel had remained constant. She may not be a punk anymore or mourning the loss of her child to another woman but she was in love and that sentence had torn her world apart.  
>Later Quinn saw Rachel at her locker. 'Turn around' thought the once head cheerleader 'Look at me…please' but the chance had gone as Finn came swooping in from the opposite direction and captured Rachel's attention. Quinn turned to go, knowing that staring at her one time lover's back would do nothing. It was then that Rachel looked behind her and saw Quinn walking away from her 'I wanted you to talk to me' was the only thought running through her mind.<p>

Months went by and the end of the academic year grew ever closer, still neither Quinn nor Rachel had said a thing to each other. If anything, they had ignored each other completely but their unspoken feelings were tearing them apart. Rachel had to seek help, she didn't know what to do with this ball of emotion; she'd tried singing it out but for the first time ever, that hadn't worked. She had to tell someone, Kurt.

"Kurt, you know before you and Blaine were going out…" hesitantly asked Berry.

"Mmm-hmm" mused Kurt absorbed in deciding which of his extensive moisturiser collection was going to make it to the big Apple.

"Did you ever… really want to talk to him but not know how? Like, tell him that you liked him and stuff?" Rachel fiddled with the lid of a particularly large bottle; Kurt gently took it from her hands and looked her in the eyes. He knew instantly what was going on, she had never been good with feelings.

"Rachel, the best thing to do it to talk to them or get them to talk to you. Find a nice quiet place where you can be alone together and talk it out."

"I think we should have a party." Rachel said decisively changing the topic, she had a plan. "For the glee club, at mine, for going away. It may be the last time we're properly together again."

There was nothing Kurt enjoyed more than a good party and he knew this one would be better because he'd be there with Blaine and wouldn't have to worry about Rachel trying to take him off to musically mate like they did last time when she wore that hideous grandma green dress. Preparations were soon underway and all of New Directions were invited, they were told to bring iPods so the music would be decent and an item of food to help with the buffet.

Quinn held her invitation in her hand, weighing up the possibilities of whether she was going or not, she couldn't risk talking to Rachel – she would have a break down but at the same time she was desperate to see her before she went away.

The day of the party arrived and Rachel had already spent 3 hours trying to choose her costume. The theme was 'Musicals', very fitting for the career her and Kurt were going to embark upon, but she just couldn't decide. Should she risk going as Elphaba? Of course not, Kurt would definitely come as her. Maybe Kate Monster or Audrey? No , neither of those would work either. Then the idea hit her, she would go as Sandy from Grease, but it would have to be Bad Sandy if she wanted to get Quinn's attention; after all, Quinn was the one who had given her the outfit in the first place!

Quinn didn't want to make that much of an attempt because she wanted to fly under the radar, if she wore anything spectacular or even halfway decent then Rachel was sure to come and complement her or something, so she took some of her punk clothes and said she was Scaramouche from We Will Rock You. Everyone else seemed to have made such an effort: Finn was Brad from Rocky Horror, Kurt was Elphaba, Blaine was Tony, Mercedes was Effie, Tina was Christine from Phantom, Mike was her Phantom, Brittney and Santana had come as Maureen and Joanne from Rent, Sam was one of the brothers from seven Brides and Artie was the Nicely Nicely Johnson from Guys and Dolls sitting in a boat – he said it was an ironic statement.

Kurt had come round beforehand to help Rachel get ready and was also on hand for opening the door, Berry had to make an entrance. She chickened out at the last minute, what if Quinn thought she looked stupid? What if she wasn't even there? Instead, Rachel went down quietly with a tray of snacks and one by one mingled with the guests. Quinn clocked Rachel as soon as she walked in to the room, she looked beyond tempting, and it took all Quinn had not to pounce on Rachel right there and then. Her heartbeat had increased no end, surely if the host of the party came any closer she was bound to hear it!

Rachel could feel Quinn's eyes on her, it was the best feeling in the world; it was time to put the plan in to action.

"Excuse me," politely said the host to Finn, "I need to go upstairs for a moment." Everyone was now just about drunk enough to not mind where their star went so Rachel exited without much trouble. Quinn waited a few seconds then followed her upstairs to a very familiar room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Rachel had left the door open on purpose. Quinn cautiously went in and saw that Rachel was adjusting her make-up in the mirror; it was too much. Quinn was about to turn round when berry said her name.

"Quinn…" It sounded like it was full of sadness, like it had been hurt but that it was hopeful.

Quinn swivelled back to face Rachel who was now standing up. She came over and shut the door with one hand over Quinn's shoulder; they were eye to eye and physically closer than they had been in a long time. Quinn longed to move her face forward to close the inch of air that separated them but she couldn't look away from Rachel's eyes. Q had never been so powerless.

"I've wanted to ask you this for some time now but I never knew the right place or time." Rachel said more decisively now that she had the ex-cheerleader where she wanted her, "Do you hate me?"

Quinn was stunned, she felt the complete opposite! Berry gave a second to answer but with only silence, she went on.

"Because you've been avoiding me ever since we did that duet and I didn't want you to avoid me, I wanted you to be closer to me. That's why I broke up with Finn because I wanted to see more of you, I've never felt like this with anyone and to have you shun me was just unbearable! When I announced that I was going to New York, I wanted you to fight for me, to say you loved me…" It was at that last phrase that Rachel finally broke eye contact with Quinn.

"I love you." Rachel's head whipped back to look at where the slightly rasping tones had come from, "But I can't stop you going to New York, it's your dream, and it would be wrong of me to take that from you for my own selfish needs."

Rachel kissed Quinn so hard that Q was pushed to the door. Rachel couldn't have heard something more perfect, romantic or, well, hot! Last time the punk had got to take the lead but Rachel was going to be a star so now it was her turn. The singer's hands went under the ex-cheerleader's top, the sensation of cold against warm was intense. The hands steadily moved further up until they were pushing the old rock tour top over Q's head; now only the skirt to conquer but that was slipped off easily enough. There was a momentary pause in the kiss and Rachel looked Quinn in the eye once again.

"Undress me."

Quinn was eager to comply. Rachel turned around and the black cat suit was soon fully unzipped to her ass. Quinn's hands lingered there and the star sensed what she wanted to do.

"Go on. Do it."

Quinn grabbed Rachel by the hips and rocked her own against her. Her hands started to run up and down Rachel's body while her shoulder, jaw and neck were covered with passionate kisses. The star collapsed on to the bed with Q on top of her still rocking, feeling and kissing but she swiftly rolled over so she once again had the upper hand. Quinn knew she had to regain some kind of power, even though she'd happily be helpless where Berry was concerned, so she used her one remaining weapon; words.

"God Berry, when did you become such a slut?" purred Q, looking up at Rachel.

"When I was thinking of ways to get you back" stated the star, she had done her research in to every possible way that she could please Quinn if she got her hands on her. It hadn't been easy, some of those images had scarred her for life but you take the rough with the smooth and Quinn was a prize that Rachel was desperate for.

Rachel dipped down to kiss her girl when Kurt opened the door. All he saw was a tangle of girls in underwear, a sight he was not accustomed to, and two faces fiercely looking his way; he'd obviously interrupted something.

"Rachel, I can see that you're busy…" said Kurt hesitantly from the doorway.

"What is it, Kurt?" snapped Rachel, desperate to maintain the momentum of her and her lover.

"Most people are leaving now because we don't want a repeat of the last party, but everyone says that they had a great time."

"Is that it?"

"Yeah… I'll leave you two to get on then…" Kurt left, closing the door behind him. Rachel looked back at the girl beneath her and suddenly felt very stupid and out of place; Kurt had completely ruined the mood. Rachel rolled over so she lay next to Quinn and neither girl touched, they just stared at the ceiling listening to each other breathe. Q pushed herself up on to her side so she was looking at her girl; she took a moment just to look; to look at the chestnut hair, the smooth skin, the slight movement of the chest.

"I love you" stated Quinn with absolute adoration. She leant over and kissed the perfect cheek. She then lay back down and held Rachel. The punk inside her had never really been one for spooning or cuddling but it just seemed like the right thing to do. Gradually both girls started to fall asleep but just before Quinn closed her eyes for the last time that night she heard a murmur.

"I love you too"

Q slept with a smile on her face and woke the next morning, completely intertwined with Rachel. She couldn't help but think that this was how life should be; it should be waking up with Rachel.

"Morning" whispered Quinn with a kiss.

"Morning" mumbled Rachel who hadn't opened her eyes yet but was awake enough to kiss the other girl's nose. Quinn looked at this perfect form lying beside her and she knew what she wanted to do.

"Rach, what would you say if I told you I was coming with you to New York?"

Rachel's eye's opened simultaneously with a beaming smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Today was the day that Quinn told her mother she was going to New York with Rachel, her girlfriend. It was going to be hard but they could get through this. Her mom loved her and therefore she would accept that Quinn was in love and let her go to New York. She went in to the sitting room and sat down opposite her mother.

"Mom, I've got something to tell you…" said Quinn, studying her mother with her eyes

"Go on then, sweetie" chirped the ex-Mrs Fabray, not taking her eyes from her needlework.

"I'm going to New York, with Rachel Berry…" she left the end of the sentence in mid-air to gauge her mother's reaction.

"That's nice dear" said her mother, smiling at Quinn. She didn't get it, Q would have to spell it out.

"Because I love her."

"What?" questioned her mother, that same fixed smile of horror as the idea began to sink in, "What did you say?"

"Mom… I love her. I'm in love with her" stated Q who was beginning to feel uneasy.

"Quinn, honey, this isn't the kind of thing you just say, you don't love her. You're not in love with her; you're just… best friends, yes, best friends with her." The panic in her voice was starting to show.

"No, mom, I love her" Quinn stared at the disbelief on her mother's face, "It's normal, I'm still me! I'm still the same girl that you've looked after."

"It's not normal!" screamed Judy, practically spitting fire, "I looked after you after I kicked your dad out, I offered to look after the baby but you declined, I'm fine with that! At least a teen pregnancy is halfway normal! This isn't!"

"I love Rachel, mom, I love her" Q was hurt, things weren't meant to go this way.

"STOP SAYING THAT! Stop saying it like it's the truth! It isn't! You… you're… YOU'RE A FREAK OF NATURE QUINN FABRAY! YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN! Get out of my house and don't come back." The sewing was flung to the floor in rage.

"But mom…" the woman who couldn't care less was gone, replaced by a girl crying out for her mother.

"Get out." Judy wasn't even looking at Quinn anymore; she was standing stock still, fixating on a slight ruffle in the carpet. It took all her will power not to lash out and hit the stranger in her sitting room.

Q walked as calmly as she could up to her room; she pulled out her suitcase and packed what she needed. As she left the house she looked in to the living room from the doorway; Judy was still standing there looking at the same spot but some tears were rolling down her face. Quinn didn't want to leave what was left of her family; she had nowhere to go anyway.

The girl stood in the hallway and looked around one last time at what was now just another house. She sighed and left without saying a word.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Rachel looked in the mirror, her face lit by the many light bulbs surrounding it; she fixed her hair and started to think about what her first line was – "Hi. You've reached Maureen and Joanne. Leave a message and don't forget "Over the Moon" - My performance, protesting the eviction of the Homeless (and artists) from the Eleventh Street Lot. Tonight at midnight in the lot between A and B. Party at Life Cafe to follow"

Rachel Berry had been cast as Maureen straight out of NYADA; it was unusual to have someone so young playing the role but the casting director was convinced that Rachel could pull off the part. Tonight was opening night and Rachel was more nervous than she'd ever been in her entire life, she was a proper star, or about to be. This could be the start of something fantastic but she couldn't help but feel something was missing, she knew exactly what it was; Quinn.

Q disappeared the day after she'd finally asked Rachel out, she hadn't been seen since. The star knew that her two-time lover had left town, she wasn't kidnapped or murdered, she just left. Rachel felt betrayed a little, like she'd been jilted at the alter; she'd given her heart wholly and completely for the first time in her life and she had been rejected in the worst way possible.

Rachel was unsure about taking Rent because it carried so many memories but she settled on the idea that it could be some form of closure, something that could help her move on. Kurt had been very supportive but he was in a show of his own and he'd moved in with Blaine so he couldn't be there for Rachel 24/7 anymore, he had been brilliant at distracting her but was also there when she couldn't be distracted.

There was a knock at the door.

"Miss Berry" said the stage hand, "These just arrived for you." He held out a large bunch of red roses, all in full bloom.

"Thank you" said a suitably surprised Rachel, taking the bouquet. The stagehand nodded and left, the singer sat down, stunned. The flowers from her dads had already arrived, so had Kurt's and Shelby's, she had no idea who could have sent them. There was a card attached – "Good luck tonight, meet me at the bar afterwards." There wasn't a name of any kind, normally Rachel would have thought of a million theories and had fun trying to whittle it down but she was too nervous so she resolved to put the roses in some water and deal with it after the show.

The cast took their third curtain call; Rachel had been phenomenal, just like she always had been. She beamed as she finally walked back to her dressing room to get changed back in to herself, now that the nerves of the show were out the way, the flowers held a fun mystery. There was only one way to find out who sent them; meet them at the bar.

Rachel made her way through the crowds to the bar pretty easily, swerving in and out of the small clumps of people. No one really recognised her because her style was so different to Maureen's and she wasn't plastered in make-up. Then she got to the door that lead to the bar, she took a deep breath, pushed it open and walked in. She searched for a familiar face in the room full of theatre goers, she couldn't pick anyone out immediately, and then she heard her name.

"Berry!"

There she was, perching on a bar stool with one arm leaning behind her on to the bar itself; the wanderer returned from her travels. Rachel's smile faded, all the suppressed emotions were bubbling up inside her; the rage, the fear, the desperation, the heartache. She didn't know how to deal with it. Quinn could see what was happening from across the room, as she got up from the bar she was just in time to see Rachel walk out of the room.

At the risk of looking like a stalker, Q followed Rachel back to her flat. The star let her only to have the pleasure of turning round and slamming her front door in Quinn's face.

"Rach, let me in" called Quinn, standing right next to the door, knocking with her index knuckle. Rachel hadn't gotten far after shutting the door; she fell back against it and slumped down to the floor. Seeing Quinn after all this time was too much, she couldn't handle it. Why couldn't she stay gone? It was just starting to get easier. Rachel could hear her name being called on the other side of the door but she was dumb, she couldn't reply, for once she was speechless. She knew she had to muster something up.

"No."

"You still there?" asked a slightly more hopefully Quinn, she waited for a response that would not come. "I'm sorry for what I did, will you let me explain?" Once again her question seemed to fall on deaf ears. "Please let me in so I can explain!" More silence. "Fine, I'll just have to do it through the door."

The next half an hour was filled with the slightly muffled voice of Quinn telling Rachel exactly what happened in between asking her out and now. Quinn left because she didn't think she was doing the right thing for her family or for Rachel by trapping her in a relationship just before her life was about to begin so Quinn skipped town and went on a hitchhiking trip. She hitchhiked from state to state, experiencing everything that she could but there was always something missing; Rachel. So, Q came to the Big Apple hoping to one day bump in to her long lost love.

"I'd been here for a few months when I heard that you were lined up for Rent, as soon as you were confirmed, I bought tickets straight away. I've been so desperate to see you, to speak to you to be with or, as is the case I am satisfied to just be near you. I didn't realise I'd hurt you so much, I did it because I cared." Quinn paused to see if Rachel would reply to her at all, she so badly wanted to hear her voice again.

"You were supposed to love me" came the whisper from behind the door.

"I loved you, I still do and I'm sorry. I'll say it a thousand times and it will never be enough for me to be worthy of your forgiveness. I've got tickets for all the performances over the next month, it cost an arm and a leg but if I get to see you every day then it's worth it, every penny. You're a star Rachel, the brightest star in the world and I almost killed your flame before you'd even begun to light up properly. When I was watching you tonight, it was breath taking, you stole the show Rachel, everyone in the audience loved you. That's how I feel about you every waking moment. Let me in Rach, please."

Rachel got up and walked away from the door, Quinn heard her footsteps on the other side and her head lolled on to the wood that separated them. She didn't know it would be this bad, but she deserved it. She waited for another half an hour but there was no sound coming from inside the apartment so Quinn decided to leave; she could always try again tomorrow.

She had gotten to the stairwell when she heard the click of the door opening.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Quinn bolted back to the open passage as fast as she could but as soon as she got to the door, she stopped. It seemed like to step in to the threshold of Rachel's flat would be like stepping in to a church, not that Quinn had been in one for years. Her hand shakily hesitated, not quite touching the wood that would turn a sliver in to a portal; did she dare go in and look her love in the eye? The desire and intrigue was too overwhelming; Q pushed the door open to reveal the tear-carved face of Rachel, standing defiantly even though it seemed like she could collapse with emotion at any point.

"You were supposed to love me" she echoed, "but you left me for more exciting things, obviously I wasn't enough for you." Her voice cracked with heart-break at each syllable. Quinn moved with an outstretched hand towards her but Rachel flinched away before there could be skin to skin contact. That one reaction was the dagger that stabbed and twisted itself in Quinn's heart, a girl that was once so eager to greet her touch was now visibly shrinking away from it.

The once emotionless cheerleader could feel tears bubbling at her eyelashes.

"Rach, I'm sorry, you've got to believe me; you've just got to!" Every letter dripped with desperation. "What can I do to show you that I need you?"

"I don't think there is anything" Rachel said bluntly, she was almost passed the stage of passionate emotion, creeping in to blank indifference.

"Let me try, please. Promise me you'll let me try. Promise", Quinn pleaded.

"You're too old for games" whispered the star with a slight steel sensation.

"Promise me" replied the almost aggressive tones of a love struck woman.

"I promise" sighed Rachel.

Q knew this was her one chance to woo her woman back in to her arms, and there was only one way to do it. Her voice had changed considerably since she'd first sung the song in her audition for the New Dictions but somehow it made it carry a lot more depth and truth than it had before.

"The moment I wake up, before I put on my make-up, I say a little prayer for you…" Quinn's husky tones were something Rachel hadn't heard in a long time but they were still so familiar.

"While combing my hair now and wondering what dress to wear now, I say a little prayer for you…" Quinn knew the significance of the song to the woman in front of her, she had sung it to her only once before; as they were falling asleep after they first got together. This song was everything they were, everything they could be, if Rachel allowed it to happen. Singing wouldn't be enough. Q reached out and pulled Rachel in to her.

"Forever, forever, you'll stay in my heart and I will love you. Forever, forever, we never will part. Oh, how I'll love you. Together, together, that's how it must be. To live without you would only be heartbreak for me." As Quinn sang, she guided Rachel in a small circle, singing softly in to her ear. Q was cautious about placing her hand around the other girl's waist but she could feel Rachel slowly starting to resist less and moving more of her own accord. As she sang the final line of the chorus, Quinn pulled away slightly and looked Rachel directly in the eye, hoping that the singer would grasp the intense truth of the meaning.

Rachel studied the face staring at hers in the silence. She'd kept the hair short, which was good because it suited her more. The make-up was roughly the same as it had been. Her eyes were the same confectionary hazel chocolate. Her lips were like two frozen raspberry pink petals; Rachel subconsciously nipped her on lip, even after all these years she still wanted to never disconnect herself from them.

Quinn saw the slight movement straight away, they were so close that she couldn't help herself; she leaned in and kissed her love's lips as tenderly as she could manage. She withdrew and looked at Rachel's stunned face.

"Let me have my sin again" purred Q, knowing that Romeo and Juliet was Rachel's favourite Shakespeare. Q went in for a second kiss but she was stopped by one finger from the hand of the singer. "Then let me kiss your hands" said Quinn, pressing her lips against the skin presented to her.

"No, Quinn. You can't just walk back in here like nothing happened. You hurt me. If anything happens, it needs to be me that makes the first move, not you. Could you please leave? Give me your number and I'll let you know when I'm ready." Rachel's eyes quivered to absorb Quinn's reaction, which was one of relief and satisfaction. Q left knowing that she had made the first step to fixing what she did to Rachel. Rachel went to bed feeling happier than she had in years.

Quinn waited by her phone for nearly a month waiting for the call that would turn this molehill in to the mountain she wanted it to be. She started to worry that Rachel was never going to call when, finally, she got a text.

_Come to my place at 9. Rach x_

The message gave Quinn wings and the day could not pass fast enough until the afternoon started unfurling in to evening. Q made sure she looked good for the 17th time and the finally made her way to her given destination. She was 5 minutes early so she waited outside until her cell told her that it was time to knock on the door.

Rachel let Quinn wait for a minute and then she answered the door.

"Hey, come in." She wore a 1950s style dress and one of her co-ordinated cardigans; she was a vision of loveliness in Quinn's eyes. There was almost no awkwardness between the couple, they sat and talked properly about what Quinn had done, what Rachel had achieved and how the others were. There still seemed to be an issue they skirted around. Q couldn't take her eyes off her host, she needed her so desperately but she had to restrain herself because she said she would.

As the evening became night, the girls grew more relaxed and neither of them noticed that they were practically touching. Quinn gave Rachel the once over, she was so close but so far.

"Quinn, if things had gone to plan, what do you think it would be like now?" The question was a surprise but Quinn already knew the answer off by heart.

"We'd be living together; I'd send you flowers for your opening night and be there for every performance. You'd help me study for my tests and make me yummy veggie meals. You would sing to me and we'd talk and laugh. I would touch you and you would shiver." Quinn brushed her hand against the singer's knee and she felt the shiver. "And I'd love you more each day like I've done for so many years and you'd feel the same. Every kiss would be magical and leave us wanting more." Q leaned in and kissed Rachel with such passion that at first she didn't realise that Rachel was kissing back then she got lost in the love, desire and need that enveloped them both.


	6. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Quinn looked at the clock, it was 10:47, the show would be over and her girlfriend would be taking her second curtain call; that meant it was time to put the candles on.

Tonight was going to be special, it had been three years since they'd reunited and Q felt it was time to move on.

Rachel unlocked the door and went in with her eyes closed, absorbing the heat of their apartment.

"Oh Q, you should have seen it tonight! It was just magnificent, everyone was on their feet and they were clapping and… do I smell roses?" Rachel turned round with her eyes open, the floor was littered with red rose petals, there were candle's burning and her girlfriend was sitting at the table with a meal she had cooked, vegetarian Bolognese – the only thing she could cook, "Quinn, you shouldn't have…" smiled the singer.

"Of course I did, the opening night of a new show is very important especially when it's something as big as Chicago!" Quinn patted the table, signalling that it was time to eat. The food was of Quinn standard but Rachel didn't mind because it was made with the best of intentions; they talked about how the show had gone and what Quinn had done during the day then there was a pause. Quinn looked in to her girlfriend's eyes and began speech she had started writing the day she gathered the courage to ask Rachel Berry out:

"Rachel Barbra Berry, these past few years have been the best of my life, you have given me so much more than I could ever give you and I'll constantly be trying to be the person you deserve. There is not one person who loves you more than I do. I love the way you lick your lips when you think, the way you sing the same song in the shower every morning, the way your eyes water when those animal abuse adverts come on the TV, the way you fold all the towels, the way that your hand fits perfectly in mine when we walk along wherever we are together and I've known for a long time now that I never want to stop walking with you. I want to be the one who holds you when you cry, who makes you cups of coffee, who is the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see at night. Will you make me the happiest, luckiest, most loved girl in the world and do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

Rachel looked at Quinn, who was now down on one knee and proffering a box that contained possibly the most beautiful ring in the world. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks, she was speechless, she couldn't do anything except nod.

"Uh-huh"

"You will?"

"Yes, yes, 1 gazillion times yes!" Rachel launched herself at her fiancé and smothered her in passionate kisses. It was perfect.


End file.
